If you are anything like me when it comes to how we want to experience our romantic relationships, we have some common values and beliefs:
- We value having strong relationships with a team player.
- We value having a partner who we can talk to about anything.
- We value truthful communication.
- We value having trust and respect in and for each other.
- We value having a partner we can count on for support.
- We value investing in our relationship and doing what we can and then some to make it work.
- We value having a deep friendship, with our partner
- We value having expressing empathy, compassion, patience, respect, flexibility, and openness is important in a relationship.
- We value having a sense of humor (who doesn’t love to laugh)
- We value being loved for who we are and who we are becoming.
- We value emotional availability and security from our partners.
- We value investing in personal growth individually and as a couple.
- We believe in building our emotional intelligence skills.
- We believe in having the ability to work through conflict.
- We believe in having similar values.
- We believe both parties should be emotionally invested in the relationship.
- We believe in owning our stuff when triggered because we are aware that we carry emotional baggage that needs to be sorted out.
- We believe we should feel comfortable expressing our emotions to our partner.
When any of our values or beliefs are threatened there will be conflict. Conflict is all about emotions, and when we are off balance emotionally it becomes extremely difficult to engage in constructive responses and deal with conflict effectively.