Definition of self-compassion:
Self-compassion involves being warm and understanding toward yourself when you are dealing with painful experiences. First by recognizing that suffering is something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to “you” alone. Then look at your negative thoughts and emotions without judgement. Don’t suppress or deny them, instead just observe them as just a feeling or thought without attaching them to who you are as a person.
For the exercise, I encourage you to utilize a journal to record all that shows up for you. Writing things down will help organize your thoughts and emotions.
How would you would respond to someone you care about if they were having a difficult time with something? What comforting words would you say to them?
Now, write down what you are saying to yourself as you’re experiencing this emotional pain from your relationship ending:
Do you see a difference in your response?
If so and you are not responding to yourself in the same way as you would to someone you care about; this is where you have to make that shift and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself as you would treat others having the same experience and say those same kind words to yourself.
First you have to practice self-acceptance; which allows you to acknowledge that you're a good person, faults and all. It doesn't mean that you ignore the faults or stop trying to improve yourself but it does mean that you value yourself above those not so good moments. You acted and reacted to your circumstances in the best way you knew how.
With all the knowledge and experiences you’ve had in life up to this point, this was the best that you could do and that’s all you can do. So forgive yourself because you were not capable of going about life in any other way at the time.
Take a deep breath...
Now say...I did the best that I could. I want to do better in the future and I’m open to learning how to grow from this experience,
Then say...I forgive you __________(insert your name)
Love yourself and give yourself permission to heal.
With Love & Gratitude,